WCPW Lights Out dropped last night, and it proves a good opportunity for me to debut a new format for my ‘thoughts’ posts on wrestling shows; the Best of Seven Thoughts series. Kinda like Ups and Downs, but less vertical and more Best of Seven-y. So let’s bring it.

1. State of your main event, mate.

So negative goes 1-0 up right off the bat after a main event which was hardly dull – it’s not possible to have a dull match ft. Bully Ray and Drew Galloway, for one – but felt more like a late-1990s WCW main event. Run-ins and interference galore, Bully adding random stipulations in a rambling pre-match promo on the fly (who the hell signed off on it being No-DQ out of nowhere?), and a post-match which saw another umpteen run-ins, the heels put Galloway through a table and proceed to walk out with the championship belt – which I guess by WCPW logic means they’re the World Heavyweight Champions now?

More on that later. But first, speaking of the heels…

2. How To Get X-Pac Heat, Ft. Pacitti Club

I hinted at this in my Kirbymania blog, and I’m gonna lay it out here; enough with friggin’ Pacitti Club already.

When WCPW first started, many people feared it would be merely a platform to get the Youtube personalities of WhatCulture itself over rather than the actual wrestlers. For the most part that wasn’t the case, with Adam Blampied’s beatdown by Rampage at least paying off that particular angle.

Then Pacitti Club became a thing. Le sigh.

Look, Bully Ray is a fun heel, naturally. Ospreay, the Swords of Essex and Bea Priestley are an awesome heel stable in their own right. All are GREAT heels and have a legit shared connection; hell, Ospreay and Priestley could be the UK’s answer to Edge and Lita if they wanted to be. But a joke that was kinda cute and funny on Youtube when the two Adams were battling over a cardboard belt in a glorified predictions league has now officially got way out of hand when you make it a fully fledged stable, put famous and talented wrestlers in the thing, make them walk around in parody Bullet Club shirts centred around an authority figure who isn’t a wrestler in any way (when an ACTUAL MEMBER OF THE BULLET CLUB IS THE COMPANY’S INTERNET CHAMPION), and position them as the top heel stable in the company. Of the three matches they were involved in at Lights Out, they won two and basically won the third anyway given the post-match beatdown of Galloway. For a company that pitches itself as a genuine alternative to WWE, this shit is sure making me miss The Authority. I’m also well aware Blampied had B-Generation-X on the Youtube series, and if that’s honestly the payoff to this angle, God help us all.

What next, the fucking NerdCubed World Order?

3. Your WCPW Women’s Champion…or not?

So here’s an angle I completely don’t get. Nixon Newell, the ACTUAL WCPW Women’s Champion, is away in Japan currently. Fine, except her main rival Bea Priestley stole the belt from her on Loaded last season and is now parading it around like she is the actual Women’s Champion. And is even being announced to the ring as such.

The fuck is going on?

It’s an angle that doesn’t really make much sense at all; why not just have Priestley actually WIN the belt by shenanigans so Newell can drop the title, go to Japan, then come back and have the rematch in due course? This just muddies the waters. But hey, gotta get that Pacitti Club over, I suppose. SIGH. And after Ospreay walked out with the WCPW World Title at the end of the main event, does that mean HE is the champion now? Idek. My brain hurts.

4. The Boiler Room And-Everywhere-Else Brawl

So negatives lead 3-0, but here comes the babyface comeback to stop the shutout!

Man, was the Boiler Room Brawl between Primate and Rampage fun. Backstage hardcore-themed matches are often quite limited given no bumps can be taken on hard surfaces, so it’s mostly brawling and weapons-based madness. The fact this brawl went from boiler room to balcony back to boiler room then all over the WhatCulture offices (nice job getting ALL the WC merch possible for both guys to either crash into or use as comedy weapons) before finally ending by submission in the multi-story car park made this match pretty damn entertaining.

5. Best Matches – Rhodes/Ricochet and Sabre Jr/Banks

Because really, there was no way these weren’t going to be Matches Of The Night. Rhodes is just so damn fun to watch in his post-WWE ‘American Nightmare but I’m still kinda babyface’ role, and Ricochet is the co-pioneer of ‘flippy shit’ alongside Ospreay. ZSJ and Travis Banks was really good, and the former tag team partner of Pete Dunne got the huge breakout win in a moment reminiscent of Martin Kirby’s win over Ospreay last year.

6.  Good Triple-Threat Wrestling

The card featured two triple-threats, one for the Women’s Title (or not…) ft. Priestley, Lucha Underground’s Ivelisse and Tessa Blanchard, and the other a Number #1 Contender match for the Internet Title ft. Marty Scurll, Gabriel Kidd and El Ligero. Both were fun and featured attempts to not follow the standard Triple Threat formula of one wrestler knocked to the outside for the other two to go at it, swap around every few minutes, rinse-repeat. A dual submission spot camel clutch/sharpshooter in the Women’s match was a particular highlight, and making the No.1 Contender’s match an Elimination Triple Threat helped the guys tell a better story.

7. A Lack of Standout Moments

So positives have come back to tie it up, but sadly they won’t get the win this time, as a show that felt far longer than two and a half hours can’t really be called good overall. The decision to pre-tape and cram as many matches in as possible with minimum turnaround time in theory was a good one, but a lack of real standout moments or storyline progression meant me and my buddy were checking our watches and considering bailing out with three matches to go. With so much centring around the sodding Pacitti Club, a lot of the other storylines and wrestlers (with the exception of anyone involved in the Internet Title picture) have a feel of treading water on the road to True Legacy and the WCPW show on Wrestlemania weekend in Orlando. It came off feeling like a standard WWE B-show PPV; lots of good wrestling with generally disappointing storyline progressions and finishes leading to a under-par conclusion. A shame, but with Loaded returning on Monday hopefully some storylines that don’t involve a crap version of the Blue World Order can start to ignite.

Drop me your thoughts on this one in the comments and on Twitter @AJV1Beta. For now, speaking of WWE…time to brew up and get ready.